Americans vs. The Aneurysm

133

The lady at the farmacy let him pick a cookie. She had water in her eyes. He likes green more than red. Red hurts.

"What do you say?"

"Thank you."

"You're quite welcome. So special. Have her let me know if the anti-seizure medications crazy."

"I'll let her know."

"Mom had a seijure but she is better."

"Thanks. Merry Christmas," Dad said. He takes the farmacist bag and weighs it.

"Merry Christmas to you. Look for Santa Claus."

He takes the boy by the hand and leads him down the aisle for paper and sizzers. Then they are where the soop is. After that it is coffee. Then Dad drops on one knee. He has water in his eyes. He hugs the boy.

"Come on Dad. Crying won't help. Want to share my cookie?"



-101

That Scary Sound

The boy was the first responder. Mother jolting on the sofa. His fingers dancing.

"Breathe Ivy Ivy, are you there? Ivy! Open your mouth."

"Why is Mom making that scary sound?"

"Open your mouth Ivy."

6:03. The Daily Show is on.

"Why you do that to Mom's mouth?"

"Get it out baby. She's frothing. Look out son, I'm bringing her down."

"Why Mom making that sound? Breathe! Mom why Mom not breathing?"

It's alright honey. Levi! Bring me the phone. Please. Ivy! Are you with me? The phone! Get the phone boy! Breathe!"

"Mom stop making that sound Dad. Breathe Ivy!"



-Call Waiting 104

"Why doesn't this not do what I say? Boy! Get MY phone. Hurry! Ivy! Are you with me? Hello! I need an ambulance to 932 NW Market Street. It's yellow. North side of the street. Ivy! It's o.k. My wife is having a seizure."

"Calm down sir. We have dispatched paramedics to your location."

"Ivy!"

"Sir, calm down and do exactly as I say. Is the patient breathing?"

"It's my wife. I don't know. Maybe. She's coming out of it. Ivy! Are you there? Are you breathing?"

"Mom is not breathing."

"Ivy! What day is it?"

"Sir! Calm down and do exactly as I say."



-100

You Didn't Sign It

Paperwork under the knife; signatures for vital signs. Laid out, floresent lighting; up to one in ten never get off the table. Typed tombstones flutter.

"Leave all your stuff to me."

"Knock yourself out." A woman with a hairnet ducks into the machines.
"Guardian. My Mom's crazy, but yours is a bitch."

"Mine's got money. You scared?"

"Here's the anesthetic. Count from 100."

"Not yet."

"Say goodbye?"

"Not yet." She blows out her breath like she's been holding it.

"In case of the worst."

"Just smile."

"Or worse, 86."

A guy with hairnets over his shoes begins to push her away.




-ER Breakdown 100

Running in, the city looked pasted on and the water solid. A bum worked the offramp.

"I'm not afraid to die."

"I guess that's best." Signalling at Boren. "Considering."

She pushes his button and rolls up his window. "Do you know how to get there?"

He puts his hands at ten and two. "It's a crapshoot every time. I'd be more afraid of being locked in a body and not able to do anything about it."

"This doesn't look right." Framed in the car window her head looks slanted against the background; like she's falling. "I'm in so much pain."

"Just over this hill baby. What's that?"

"Did you put in transmission fluid?"

"I thought you did. How can honking help?"


-STROKE

Dog-paddling, he said she had pretty feet. She went, "I hear you fine Mom. It's not quite Mexico. The neurologist said flying with aneurysms was fine." The boy splashed water in his nose.
He sank to the bottom where he could touch the sun.
"United bumped us in San Francisco. I'm still mad. He made me hike up the crookedest street in the world."
On his back the sun was piercing but without form.
"We miss you. It's not Christmas without family around."
He pushed off hard for the other side. The boy hugged the wall in the deep end.


100

I Don't Feel Good

"I know it hurts."

"Tell me how it hurts. It's not about you."

He sits Indian style on a cot and watches the snow accumulate outside. He drums his crossed arms. For days.

"You don't care. You never do anything for me."

"I do everything I can. I'm not perfect. I got you icecream and painted your toenails. You're in new pajamas and have coiled earrings."

"Dance for me. Faster."

In the center of ICU he threw it down.

"You're competing with the t.v. I'm missing the best part. Go to sleep."

Finally the nurse arrives with the pain meds.



128

They brought out candles for her french toast birthday dinner. The men had eggs poached in the microwave.
d
"Remember reading about electricity, boy? How the electrons jump from one atom to another? That's how those eggs got hot in the microwave. It cooked them by making their atoms shake."

"Like Mom's brain in the seijure."

"Sei-zure."

"That's not it at all. I'm fine."

He ate the pototoes with Tampico. She ate the french toast with Ranch dressing. The boy ate the baby carrots with syrup.

"There's diversity, boy. Look here, I'm mixing up the Tampico with the Ranch dressing now."

The boy looke to her for guidance. She threw her head back and snored.

"Don't do that. You know how it scares me. Think of the boy.



107

The Princess and the Pea

She has little things squirrelled away. That's what the other one had called her. "Chippie." Then this one had out of the blue started using it. Her hand slipped into a familiar place.

A knock at the door. "You in there?"

"Yeah, Mom. Come in."

"It's so dark in here. You want this light?"

"No! Turn it off. Please."

"What are you doing?"

"Going through some things."

"Good things?"

"All kinds of things. Do you miss Dad?"

"I do miss some things. What we'd have if we'd stayed together."

"You don't have anything now? What am I?"

"I put you in a place, honey. I had to."



116

Financial Hardship

"I applied. Everywhere. For everything."

"Are we going to make it?"

"Not at this rate. You need to get a real job. Who takes 5 years? We need insurance. We. Need. A car."

"Stop blaming me. Stop blaming me 100 times a day."

"Are you saying it's my fault."

"Yeah, right. I sent out 5 applications today. I try. I have no idea why I'm broken. But I'm pointing back at you. We've waited 5 years for you to be well. If you need help ask for it."

"So I have to get a job. Pick up the slack. You need help?"

"Just show me where the work is and I'll go do it."

"I'm so scared."



100

Traffic backs up as he waits to turn. Someone honks.

"How much were the pills?"

"I didn't look. Crooks all of them. The bank, the phone company, the doctors. I've had it." Her phone rings.

"Come on." he says to the oncoming traffic.

"This is she," she says. "Yes. You were late. I had to go to the hospital. Right. I ordered groceries, but I called and said I'd be out. No we won't. Just bring the food."

The boy starts crying.

"No! I can't hold. Please!" She screams and throws the phone on the floorboard.

He hits the gas, horn blaring.


96

"Thanks a lot Barack, for nothing. We need health care yesterday."

"We make 1500 phone calls to hire the Donks and they cut the student loan interest in half, but not for existing loans. They gave a break to the Generation Y selfish slackers who didn't even bother to vote."

"It's the Mexicans. That's why DSHS cut my coverage."

"Don't blame the beaners. Blame me. I do."

"Me too. No. I'm joking. It's a rightwing conspiracy."

"Family values."

"Family screws you."

"My Mom is passing me around like a shining example because I haven't cut and run."



106

He wasn't smoking, that's why. That undercurrent of need. The quivering that made him nervous; not knowing. Would he have already had his last? That's a long time to sit, waiting. The 101 blazed into town. The freeway an artery. The Sun was a grey bruise over the water. The skyline like kings pointing their embers into the grey. His fingers twitched over the keyboard and he blinked. On the knoll rolling out of the treeline was a turkey. At the offramp contemplating a crossing.

At home it was always loud. Mostly static. Women. Tending to the needs. Needing. The boy swinging through the family tree. Family.


100

The job's to keep the job. Mum's the word. Quietly catching the bus before dawn.

The language of the street, how you sound on the phone telling your boss you'll be late; letters to the man running across the street. His hand in the air and eyes wide-open.

The lady at the bus stop downtown, always talking. The men idle around the parking lot by the stop. Their cigarettes are held in a straight line by their hips.

Who's not surprised to look down and see we're smoking, holding a soda, arriving home? Where have we been? Second-hand vacations; a streetcorner. A strange tongue.


112

It's worse than being unemployed. I make too much to get welfare, but not enough to keep my wife alive.

Having set alarm to loudest radio volume, engage snooze twice before rising. Hit snooze for third time before responding to alarm. Remove covers from body in one vigorous corner folding motion. Disembark from foot of bed. Tiptoe to reset alarm clock. Remove underwear. Scratch inner thighs and buttocks as moving to kitchen. From refrigerator remove 16 oz. glass tumbler of coffee made previous night. Coffee should be liberally doctored with non-dairy creamer. Guzzle sixty-six percent of coffee. Place tumbler on kitchen counter.

Gently. You do not want to wake the bear.


139

Her body had vibrated and eyes clouded. He had pressed all his weight into her and slammed his mouth into hers, rigid. She spit up. A breath shimmered.

Shave in bathroom sink. Use grandfather's razor. Drag blade from left sidebrun across face with right hand. Approach shower. Turn on hot only and enter immediately. Rinse hair and body in cascade. Apply Ivory soap to hands thoroughly. Avoid tiny soap. Discard soap smaller than thumb. Apply lather to pits starting with left and working down arm. Rub belly, insert left index finger in belly button. Say, "Levi and Ivy." Relather for pubic then anal regions. Apply soap to hands before washing each leg and foot. Plan wardrobe. Rinse thoroughly. Apply soap to face, ears, neck and chest. Rinse. Blow nose in hands and rinse. Rinse. Squeeze water from hair. Turn tap.



66
Open mouth and insert toothbrush. Activate bristles with thumb. Brush dry, thoroughly. Rotate starting point from molar to molar each morning. Tongue last, spit and rinse with right hand. With deodorant applicator in right hand, coat left pit with four strokes. Switch applicator to left hand, apply to right pit. Recap applicator and return to medicine cabinet. Select cologne with right hand and apply to chest.
65
Remove from drawer one pair of socks and one pair of underwear appropriate to the day's need for luck, sex, or mundanity. Select from closet white t-shirt, slacks, shirt. Find boots. Fluffing testicles, apply underwear, t-shirt, socks, slacks, and boots. Collect watch, jewelry, chapstick, lighter, key, quarters, phone, notebook, wallet, and Parker. Thread belt and fasten buckle. Unplug laptop and insert in bag. Shoulder bag.


67

"Why does Mom have the procedure for her seijure?"

Mom has a bunch of doctors tellin her that's the best idea. That's all they got."

"Will procedure make her seijure feel better?"

"Coe her. Your hands are blue. I don't have your gloves. Here. Put these socks on yhour hands. they're all I got."

"Weird. Why does he have socks on his hands?"

"It's the best idea I gots."